Thursday, January 1, 2009

Barry Melrose's Absurd Generalizations

Sometimes I think there is nothing worse than hockey coverage on Versus. Then I watch the coverage it gets on ESPN.

Today, I was watching a lot of Barry Melrose on ESPNNEWS, mostly to satisfy my curiosity as to how much coverage the Winter Classic would garner (not much). What I got was 1% analysis, 99% generalizations.

Here's what I learned today from Barry....

Best Defenseman in the NHL...

Zdeno Chara

Most Dissappointing Team in the NHL...

Pittsburgh Penguins

Most Talented Team in the East...

Washington Capitals

A Team with Absolutely NO Weaknesses...

Boston Bruins

The "Slam Dunk" Coach of the Year...

Claude Julien

Best Puckhandling Goaltender in the NHL...

Mike Smith

Everyone thought...

...that San Jose was going to win the Stanley Cup

But then Chicago won 9 in a row, so everyone thought...

...that Chicago was going to be the best team in the West

The Best Team in the NHL Right Now...

Detroit Red Wings


I understand that Barry anchors the coverage for hockey on ESPN, and even if he is right on a few of these comments, I can't stand him telling me who the BEST team is or the SLAM DUNK award winner will be. Give me the information. Tell me that he is ONE OF THE BEST.

And sure, maybe I'm nitpicking the coverage. But every casual fan watching Melrose run his mouth now thinks that Zdeno Chara is better than, say, Nick Lidstrom. No questions asked.

I'll be keeping track of these generalizations from now on. Why? Because ESPN's hockey coverage gives me nothing else to talk about.

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