It's an ordinary Monday, so lets participate in a unique, completely time-wasting project. It's no secret that the Avs are in rebuild mode. Wouldn't it be nice if we could expediate that process? What if the Avs were given the freedom to draft one player/executive from each team? What if the other teams were allowed to protect no one, the only hope being that the Avs eventually ran out of cap space? Here's how I'd want it to play out:
Team salary may not exceed 56.8 million. Individual player salaries are based on the numbers (cap hits) from http://www.capgeek.com/. All Avalanche players not drafted become free agents. This does not include Matt Duchene. Mostly because I like Matt Duchene too much to let him go. I do not, however, like Darcy Tucker. He becomes a free agent.
Anaheim: Ryan Getzlaf - Center, 5.325 million
Analysis: The team needs a #1 center that plays with a competitive edge. Getzlaf is as mean and talented as they come.
Atlanta: Jason Krog - Minor Leaguer
Analysis: He can't crack the big leagues, but the man is a beast in the AHL. He's won scoring titles, championships, but never a long stay with an NHL team. With 112 points in 2007-08, Krog is consistently one of the leading scorers in the next-best league in North America. He'll do well as the guy the Avs never call up.
Boston: Milan Lucic - Left Wing, 850,000
Analysis: Impressive in his rookie year, Lucic comes at a great value. Chara was tempting here, but his 7.5 million cap hit was too tough to take.
Buffalo: Lindy Ruff - Coach
Analysis: Ruff keeps the Sabres competitive despite questionable talent. It wasn't that long ago that Buffalo was on the doorstep of another Stanley Cup Finals appearance. He doesn't mess with his goalies, he doesn't take crap from the media, and he HATES Darcy Tucker.
Calgary: Robyn Regher - Defenseman, 4.020 million
Analysis: The man's a beast. Put him on a pairing with Tyutin and prepare to be eaten alive.
Analysis: Based mostly on the Jibblescribbits' rankings.
Chicago: Duncan Keith - Defenseman, 1.475 million
Analysis: With 44 points in 77 games, Keith took his game to the next level in 2008-2009. It might hurt not being paired with Brent Seabrook, but the Avalanche will look forward to the continued development of the league's next great shutdown defenseman.
Colorado: Paul Stastny - Center, 6.6 million
Analysis: The price tag is insanely hard to swallow, but Stastny will fill the role of third or fourth line center brilliantly.
Columbus: Fedor Tyutin - Defenseman, 2.83 million
Analysis: Tyutin isn't flashy, but he's rock solid on the back end. It was tempting to pick Steve Mason for the backup's role, but Tyutin will complement a high-powered offense.
Dallas: Ice Girls - Slightly Demeaning
Analysis: I had Steve Ott penciled in here, but then I realized that I forgot the new trend in hockey: ice girls. Dallas ain't bad.
Detroit: Ken Holland - General Manager
Analysis: The man knows how to build a team. That's all I'm sayin'.
Edmonton: Sam Gagner - Right Wing, 1.625 million
Analysis: We're going to stretch the rules a little bit and move Gagner away from his natural center position. After a 118 point season in Juniors three years ago, the former-Oiler has yet to find his scoring touch at the pro level. Last season saw a huge change in his +/- (-26 to -1) and we all know how revealing that stat can be! He won't have to be the star for this team, which could help his development in the long run.
Florida: Scott Clemmensen - Backup Goaltender, 1.2 million
Analysis: The best kind of backup goaltender? The kind that steps in when the franchise starter goes down and keeps his team not just competitive, but as part of the elite. Clemmensen was is an unbelievable door opener (he's had a lot of practice) and he's perfect for the job in Colorado.
Los Angeles: Jack Johnson - Defenseman, 1.425 million
Analysis: Johnson's potential is huge, but he appears to be made of glass. Still, he's physical, plays a decent offensive game, and works well on a blueline that defines the word "steady" in the dictionary.
Minnesota: Cal Clutterbuck - Right Wing, 725,000
Analysis: On my fourth line, I want a young kid who can provide energy, some physical play, and the occasional or point or two. In his rookie year, the points weren't there for Clutterbuck (18 in 76 games) but the kid lead the league in hits and became a fan favorite in Minnesota. I'll take a shot with him.
Montreal: Andrei Kostitsyn - Left Wing, 2.25 million
Analysis: Back-t0-back 20 goal seasons give the Avs hope that Kostitsyn will improve with a playmaking center such as Backstrom or Parise.
Nashville: Shea Weber - Defenseman, 4.5 million
Analysis: Weber can get it done on both ends of the ice. At just 24, he'll be a franchise defenseman for years to come.
New Jersey: Zach Parise - Center, 3.125 million
Analysis: In four NHL years, Parise has hit the 30-goal mark three times and has missed no more than one game in any season. Last year, Parise exploded for 45 goals and 94 points. While that production may take a dip with new coach Jacques Lemaire, Parise shouldn't have any problems with Ruff and McCllelan at the helm.
New York Islanders: Kyle Okposo - Right Wing, 1.671 million
Analysis: Okposo entered his rookie year in 2008-09 with big expectations on an Islanders team whose fans already have Tavares fever. After scoring 18 goals and recording 39 points, Okposo will be expected to do much better on a team that is in the business of winning.
New York Rangers: Marc Staal - Defenseman, 826,660
Analysis: What a pedigree. With a name like Staal, you can't lose. He won't put up a lot of offense, but his defensive game has improved dramatically in just two seasons.
Ottawa: Marian Hossa? Martin Havlat? Dany Heatley?
Analysis: The Avalanche politely decline this pick.
Philadelphia: Ed Snider - Owner
Analysis: As the chairman for Comcast, the company that does just about everything, Mr. Snider has done pretty well for himself in Philadelphia. Snider has always done what is in the best interest of his team and has gone to amazing lengths to promote his business interests.
Phoenix: Shane Doan - Right Wing, 4.55 million
Analysis: Extremely versatile on either wings, Doan will finally have enough talent around him to put up huge numbers. Thirty goals on Phoenix is no joke.
Pittsburgh: Marc-Andre Fleury - Starting Goaltender, 5 million
Analysis: Fleury had a rocky start his first few years in the league, but he has really come into his own, winning a Stanley Cup last June. At 24, Fleury will provide stable goaltending for years to come.
San Jose: Todd McClellan - Assistant Coach
Analysis: I'm not sure exactly what he did in Detroit, but to much to my chagrin, they won Stanley Cups while he was there. Much to my delight, they lost the Stanley Cup the year he left. McCllelan couldn't get the Sharks past the playoff hump, but I want him next to my head coach anyway.
St. Louis: Jeremy Boyer - Organist
Analysis: The techno/rock/whatever music is alright, but the organ is classy.
Tampa Bay: Alex Tanguay - Left Wing, 2.5 million
Analysis: He's back! (And at a much more affordable price!) Tanguay will probably never be the kind of player who takes over a game, but placed with other great talent (see: 2001 Colorado Avalanche), he is capable of putting up solid, consistent numbers.
Toronto: "Brian Burke" - Twitter Personality
Analysis: Down Goes Brown is one of the few things that is right with this franchise.
Vancouver: Alex Burrows - Left Wing, 2 million
Analysis: Another winger who gets on the nerves of the opposition, Burrows had 28 goals last season in what started as a supporting role.
Washington: Nicklas Backstrom - Center, 2.4 million
Analysis: Yes, he makes his living passing the puck to Alex Ovechkin. A newborn baby could probably put up a few points by being on the ice at the same as #8. Backstrom will have right wingers to protect him and left wingers to make him look good. It's an ideal situation as the Swede rounds out the group of centers.
Total Salary: 54.89766 million
Cap Room: 1.90234 million
Projected Opening Night Lineup
Coach: Lindy Ruff
Assistant: Todd McClellan
GM: Ken Holland
Owner: Ed Snider
Ice Girls: Dallas
Twitter Personality: "Brian Burke"
Organist: Jeremy Boyer
Minor Leaguer Never To See NHL Action: Jason Krog
Team Disgraced: Ottawa
I like the depth on the middle and left side, but besides Doan, the wingers are very suspect. Jason Krog could become a problem later in the season.
The defense is young, promising, and already proven. Once again, the depth at center works.
I was so bored that I was tempted to do Round 2!
There it is! Rebuilding the Avs from all thirty (well, twenty-nine) teams. Even if it's not what you like, it's better than what we have.